1. It's okay to know your boundaries and to speak up about what you want and what you do not want.
2. Know your limits. How far do you want to go with a date?
3. Communicate your limits clearly.
4. Back up your words with a strong voice and body language.
5. Respect yourself. Know that what you want counts.

Healthy Relationships

A relationship is healthy if each involved is supported in being the person he/she wants to be.

A relationship that limits, manipulates, or damages a person’s sense of self is unhealthy and can be harmful or abusive. Be honest when assessing your relationship on the following factors—you owe it to yourself!

• Mutual respect: Value your partner for who she or he is, not who you want them to be or become. You should expect the same in return.  Does your partner say, do, and believe things that you can support?
• Trust: Share your thoughts and feelings with another person without fear of being hurt physically, spiritually, cognitively, or emotionally. Can you be yourself without fear of criticism or judgment? Can your partner trust you in the same way?
• Honesty: Be truthful in your words. Do you tell the truth? Do you believe what your partner tells you?
• Support: Help your partner in being his or her best; you should get the same in return.
• Fairness and equity: You and your partner are giving equally to the relationship. Do you feel like you almost always give, or give in? Or do you expect your partner to do it your way? Healthy relationships involve give and take, compromise, and negotiation—by all parties.
• Separate identities: Relationships are healthy when each individual shares their true self with their partner. Do you feel like you are losing yourself or your unique identity?
• Effective communication: Do not get caught in the trap of believing your partner should know what you want, need, mean, or feel. Humans are rarely good mind-readers, especially in intimate relationships. Do you and your partner take time to communicate? Does your partner really listen and work to understand you? Do you do this for your partner?

Here are some guidelines for maintaining a healthy sexual relationship:

• It is the responsibility of the person initiating sexual contact to ask for and clearly receive affirmative consent before acting.
• If someone is incapacitated by alcohol or another substance, that person is considered unable to make clear decisions about affirmative consent. Initiating sexual contact with someone incapacitated by substances is a form of abuse
• If your partner expresses uncertainty or says no, it is your responsibility to STOP. Healthy sexual relationships are based on continuous communication about affirmative consent.

Unhealthy and/or Abusive Relationships

Harmful and abusive behaviors may come in many forms, and may include the following:

• Sexual Violence: Proceeding with sexual activity without affirmative consent.
• Intimidation: Actions, gestures, or facial expressions used to make another fearful.
• Emotional abuse: Name calling or humiliation causing the other to feel unworthy.
• Isolation: Limiting interactions and information in order to establish control.
• Minimizing, Denying, or Blaming: Making light of the abusive behaviors causing the other to doubt their own feelings or perceptions.
• Dominance: Treating another as a lesser being and controlling all decisions.
• Economic abuse: Limiting another’s access to work, money, food, or other resources to exert control.
• Coercion or Threats: Making threats to harm someone in order to control another’s behaviors.

Bullies have always existed, so why is it important to address cyberbullying? In a nutshell, it can be extremely detrimental to the victim's physical and mental health and, in some cases, possibly deadly. Since cyberbullying allows the anonymity of bullying from a distance, it can also be easily hidden from parents, friends and school administrators and adds an almost invisible dimension to the traditional face-to-face bullying that can be hard to detect and address.

Tips, Tools & Solutions for Recognizing and Stopping Bullying in Social Media and Online

1. Create Safe Spaces: Establish safe, confidential environments where victims can share their experiences without fear of judgment or retribution. This could be through support groups, online forums, or designated safe zones on campuses or in communities.
2. Educate Peers: Provide education and training to peers on how to recognize signs of trauma, how to listen empathetically, and the importance of respecting boundaries. This training can empower peers to be effective supporters.
3. Promote Active Bystander Intervention: Encourage peers to take action when they see someone in a potentially dangerous situation. This could involve stepping in directly or seeking help from others, including authorities, to prevent sexual assault.
4. Encourage Peer-Led Initiatives: Support and fund peer-led groups or initiatives that focus on sexual assault awareness and survivor support. Peers can often connect on a different level and provide a unique sense of solidarity.
5. Foster a Culture of Belief: Promote the idea that survivors should be believed when they come forward. This helps create an environment where victims feel safe to disclose their experiences and seek support.
6. Provide Access to Resources: Make sure that peers are aware of the resources available for sexual assault victims, including counseling services, hotlines, legal assistance, and medical care. Peers should know how to guide victims to these resources.
7. Encourage Storytelling and Testimony: Support opportunities for survivors to share their stories if they choose to, whether through art, writing, public speaking, or anonymous platforms. This can help other victims feel less isolated and more understood.
8. Organize Peer Mentorship Programs: Establish programs where survivors of sexual assault can mentor others who have experienced similar trauma. This peer-to-peer connection can be incredibly empowering and healing.
9. Utilize Social Media Campaigns: Create social media campaigns that raise awareness about sexual assault and promote messages of support and solidarity. Peers can use these platforms to amplify survivor voices and share resources.
10. Normalize Seeking Help: Encourage a culture where seeking professional help is normalized and supported. Peers should understand that guiding someone to a counselor, therapist, or support group is a sign of care and strength, not weakness.

Myth:
Sexual assault and rape happens only to “certain” types of women.

Fact:
Any person of any gender, age, race, class, religion, occupation, physical ability, sexual identity, expression, or appearance can be sexually assaulted. The perpetrator does not choose the victim because they are young, pretty, or provocatively dressed; the perpetrator chooses the victim who is vulnerable. The perpetrator may select a victim who is smaller or perceived to be weaker than they are, who is alone or isolated, who is incapacitated, or who does not suspect what is about to happen.

Myth:
A victim must have “asked for it” by being seductive, drunk, careless, high, etc.

Fact:
No one asks to be violated, abused, injured, or humiliated. Perpetrators who are intoxicated or under the influence of drugs are still responsible for their actions and regardless of behavior, no one deserves to be sexually assaulted or raped.

Myth:
If a person does not fight back, they were not really raped.

Fact:
Whatever a person does to survive is the appropriate action. Rape can be life threatening, especially when a perpetrator uses a weapon or force. Submission is not the same as cooperation. There are many reasons why a victim may not physically fight, or resist, their attacker including shock, fear, threats, or the size and strength of the perpetrator. In California, lack of protest or resistance, or silence, does not mean consent.

Myth:
Most sexual assaults are committed by strangers. It's not rape if the people involved know each other.

Fact:
Most sexual assaults and rape are committed by someone the victim knows. A study of sexual victimization of college women showed that about 90% of victims knew the person who sexually victimized them.